Sweetness

Nick, Courtney and 2-week-old Cooper arrived last evening for Cooper's first overnight stay at Grandpa & Grandma's house.

That Nick & Courtney want us to be actively involved in Cooper's life is both a gift and a compliment.

They generously allowed Grandma Sue to hold (hog) Cooper all evening long! I eagerly volunteered to stay up late for Cooper's last feeding before he settled in for the night and they wandered off to bed around 10:30.

As I rocked and cuddled my sleeping grandson, I cupped his tiny feet and caressed his tender skin. He gripped my finger while I breathed in his sweet, baby smell. He emitted gentle baby sounds and amused me with facial contortions. Rumblings would occur in his nether regions and twice I changed his diaper. For over an hour I simply rocked and basked in his innocent perfection.

I have no doubt that as a young, new mother, I spent time marveling at the beauty of my babies. But paired with that awe was the realization of the enormity of the unfamiliar task of parenting that lay ahead of me. Those early days were fraught with a tinge of anxiety - am I doing this right? Pureed peas or yellow squash? Have I breast fed long enough? Does it really matter if she pairs her polka dotted tee shirt with a striped skirt?

Last night, as I held that precious baby I had no anxiety whatsoever. I do not have to make decisions involving his future. My role is to simply give this child my unconditional love.

That I can do.

4 generations

This is a photo of four generations of Howards. Great Grandma Ellen Howard is holding her first great grandchild, Cooper Ellsworth Howard. Grandma Ellen has been patiently awaiting the birth of a great grandchild and commented that she never thought she would have the chance to hold one. (She is a spunky 83 years old who'll likely be around to hold more great grandchildren!) Cooper is 3 days old in this photo.

A week later, Cooper's paternal side posed for a photo op. Don & JoAnn Jensen ..... Susan Jensen Howard (me) .... Nicholas Howard ..... Cooper Howard.

An interesting aside: The name 'Ellsworth' has been in the Jensen family for generations. My grandmother was named Dorothy Ellsworth Renner Jensen. The name skipped my generation but I picked it up & ran with it giving Nick the middle name of Ellsworth. Growing up, he detested it! He said once he became of legal age, he would go to court and have it changed.

Imagine my delighted surprise when Nick said they would be giving Cooper the Ellsworth name, carrying on the tradition. Grandma Dorothy is likely turning happy cartwheels in her grave.

To the best of my knowledge, Nick hasn't made that court appointment yet.

Bonding

I continue to ruminate about my extraordinary experience of attending Cooper's birth last week.

Nick and Courtney chose to have a midwife deliver their child. When the time came to don a lovely hospital gown and settle into their room, the midwife on duty, Laura, introduced Sam, a midwifery student who needed clinical hours to complete the requirements of her degree. Sam asked if she could remain with Courtney throughout her labor and deliver the baby, all under the watchful eye of Laura. Nick and Courtney agreed and in essence Sam became their free doula.

When it came time for Courtney to begin pushing, the nursing staff shifted and Carol, the new nurse on duty, was assigned to Courtney. Carol is also finishing up her midwifery certification so Courtney had 3 midwives by her side. How awesome is that?!

I mention their presence in the birthing process b/c I observed something one does not normally see on the live baby shows on TV such as 'Deliver Me' or 'Baby Story' (or staged, Hollywood births, for that matter). The midwife's perspective of treating birthing as a process rather than a medical condition comes into play here.

Bonding with his mother right after birth is important for the baby, say the experts. At the average birth, baby is born and put onto mother's chest. The medical personnel ensure baby is breathing, usually using suction to remove fluids from the nose & mouth. Baby is wiped off with a blanket. Dad is instructed to cut the cord and baby is then whisked away to a warming bed where a nurse begins a flurry of activities on baby. Once baby has been graded on the Apgar scale, wiped clean, had his footprints recorded, drops put in his eyes, an injection or two given, he is wrapped in a clean blanket and carried over for mom to finally hold.

Cooper experienced something entirely different. Once he was laid upon Courtney's chest, he mewed a time or two, obviously emitting enough noise to assure the midwives that his breathing was adequate. His face was wiped, a little hat put atop his head, then he promptly fell asleep, nestled against the warmth of his mother, listening to the beat of her heart. All the while it took for Courtney to expel the placenta and have a small tear stitched, Cooper lay cuddling with his mom - perhaps 40 minutes. There was no hurry. Cooper wasn't going anywhere, nor were his parents....

In this calm, gentle atmosphere, Cooper was able to bond with his parents. It was bonding in the truest sense of the word.

Sleep time

No words can express the emotion that stirs my heart when I look at this photo.

Toying

Toying

As she ripened, she toyed with correcting her facial landscape, but decided it would be a shame to loose track of where she'd been.

by Susan Mrosek

Birthing

Sitting in a rocking chair, observing the interaction between my adult son & his precious wife while she labors to birth their first child is beyond sweet. Nick is attentive yet not smothering. He is on high alert, mainly due to uncertainty (and a bit wired due to numerous large cups of caffeine). Courtney is stoic, calm in the face of pain and determined to birth her son as naturally as possible.

The hospital room is simple yet equipped with all the paraphernalia modern medicine has deemed necessary for the birth process. Courtney has turned inward, attuned to the rhythm of her own body, concentrating on the process by which she will usher in a new life. Every hour or so, a monitor is placed on her belly so the nurse can determine the status of the baby. Courtney remains focused on the process, working instinctively with each contraction.

They have been at the hospital for 5 hours now and she is dilated to 5. It will likely be a long night..........

As labor progresses muscle cramping in her back becomes unbearable and Courtney asks for an epidural. Restorative rest is now possible so her body can preserve strength for the arduous task which lies ahead: pushing the baby down the birth canal and into our world.


By 5 a.m., complete dilation has occurred and the midwife gives Courtney instruction on how to push. Because of the epidural, Courtney feels no urge to push. Since she cannot feel her contractions, she must be told when to push. (Sam explains it's much like being told to poop in spite of not feeling the need to do so.) The epidural is turned down and Courtney is granted more precious minutes of sleep.

Shortly after 6 a.m., the real work begins. I am dumbstruck as I watch Courtney bearing down, focusing all her energy into a little 4"x4" area of her body. Her expression is one of grim determination. Red faced, veins popping in surprise, oxygen starved, she doggedly bears down for over two hours to the loud, encouragement of her cheering squad chanting, 'harder, harder, harder', 'good job', 'OK, take a breath and again'.

Soon, whirls of dark hair are visible on a tiny surface of scalp. The old adage of 'two steps forward, one step back' applies in this stage of the birthing process. Each contraction propels more of the baby down the birth canal. Once the contraction (coupled with mom's push) is complete, however, the baby stages a little retreat. It is almost as if he is reluctant to leave his warm, life sustaining cocoon.

Baby's head is now ready to birth. Sam instructs Courtney to hold off on pushing while she ensures the umbilical cord is not wrapped around baby's neck nor is his arm(s) laying alongside his ear. Courtney is instructed to give a short push while the midwife guides baby's head out into the world. We have all been instructed to be quiet so Courtney can clearly hear the instructions of Sam. Noises of exclamation involuntarily erupt from us, however, and tears of astonishment and joy begin trailing down our faces. There is no earthly way to contain the absolute wonder of the miracle we are witnessing.

Although we are all happy that Cooper has a head, Courtney still has work to do. She is once again coached to push hard while Sam's hands shake with the effort of helping Courtney dispel the rest of Cooper from her body. While new Grandma Tracy catches Cooper and helps to place him on mom's chest, the rest of Courtney's fan club erupt with cheers of happiness. Courtney sweetly sobs while uttering, 'oh, Cooper, oh Cooper' over and over again, while Nick holds his wife, wiping away his own tears.





I have witnessed one of life's purest, deepest moments.

I, a new grandma, am happily satiated.

Just for fun...

I think this speaks for itself.....
Have a wonderful day!